Sin of my Secrets
by Elizabeth Keller
Summary: Bella Swan fell in love with an older Edward Cullen during her summers in Forks. But after the summer of her senior year, things change as Bella has a secret she cannot share, even with her best friend, Alice. AU/AH, mostly cannon pairs.
1. Chapter 1

Present Day

I walked quietly into her old room and sat softly on the bed and leaned down, kissing the exposed cheek of the most perfect creature that ever lived.

"Wake up, Nessie, baby," I cooed into her ear. I rubbed her back. She grumbled and turned her head from me. "It's your birthday, sweet girl! You're 4 today!" Upon hearing that reminder, her eyes popped open and a grin spread across her face. She sat up with excitement.

"I'm BIGGER now, aren't I, Mama. Am I taller, now," She squeaked. I nuzzled her long, wavy auburn hair and breathed in her scent. I sat back and examined her, dramatically gasping. She giggled with anticipation as to what my findings would be.

"Why, Renesme Charlolette Swan, I do believe you HAVE gotten taller in your sleep! It wont be long until you are taller than Uncle Jacob," I said, enthusiastically. She clapped her hands together, giggling as I moved my hands to tickle her. I kissed her on the top of the head again and reached around to grab the cupcake with pink frosting and a mess of sprinkles. I popped in a candle and pulled Nessie under my arm and began to sing her birthday song. She followed along, rocking her head side to side.

"Now, blow," I said at the end. She looked up at me and scrunched her nose.

"But Mama, the candle isn't on fire," She said.

"Just pretend," I replied. I was paranoid about lighting a candle in a bed filled with cotton. I didn't have the greatest luck. She shrugged her shoulders and sucked in a huge breath before blowing at the candle with all her might. I applauded her efforts and hugged her tighter. She sat back, proudly and grinned.

"What did you wish for," I asked as I began peeling the paper off the cupcake for her.

"My Daddy," She replied, matter-of-factly. My fingers froze in place.

August 2005

I had known the Cullen's what feels like my entire life. While I lived with my mom throughout the school years in Pheonix, I always came and stayed with my Dad in Forks during the Summer. But he worked and that meant I needed somewhere to go during the day. I usually stayed with my Grandma, but she died when I was 4. My Dad made arrangements for me spend the summer with Dr. Cullen's family. They had three children themselves, Alice who was my age, Edward who was 8 at the time and Emmett who was 10. Alice and I became instant best friends. We did everything together from playing dress-up to making mud pies out in the back yard. We were inseparable. We would cry and hold on to each other like our lives were ending at the end of each summer, knowing I would have to return to Pheonix until the following May. During the school year apart, we would write to each other weekly. When we met again the following ummer, we would pick up right where we left off.

For the'[]\\] most part, we ignored her brothers. I was secretly jealous, being an only child. When the boys would tease us for chase us, I didn't mind as much as Alice did. The summer I was 13, Alice and had walked down to the river to swim. There had been a storm the night before so it was larger than usual. A strong wind knocked my hat off and it landed on a rock down river, close to the other side. I sighed, annoyed, and went to swim after it. Alice had been sunbathing on the shore. When she heard the splash as I went out into the middle of the river, she cried out a warning. Being from the desert, I didn't really understand the dangers of currents in a swollen river. Before I could react to Alice's voice, the current dragged my feet out from under me. Although I was a strong swimmer, I could not get myself out of this current that at time would drag my head down underneath the black water. I kicked and thrashed my arms, but to no avail. The water was blinding as it splashed into my eyes. I tried to keep breathing, but water was filling my lungs. I started to lose hope. I then felt strong hands grab my arms. The water rushed mercilessly around me, threatening to break the connection.

"I got her, pull, Emmett," I heard Edward's voice against the rushing of the water around me. I felt my arms getting pulled further and further out of the pressure of the river. I could feel the ground beneath me know. I could feel Edward's arm around my waist, pulling my closer to shore. I coughed and

choked violently on the water that had filled my lungs and blackness started to take over my vision, my hearing.

The next think I know, I feel a mouth on me, pushing air into my lungs which causes me to cough again. I am being rolled to my side as my body rids itself of the river water. I take in a labored, but wonderful breathe and my eyes flickered open. I see Edward's face over me, a look of fear melts into a crooked grin. His head blocks the sun and the light goes around his head like he is an angel.

"Welcome back, Bella," He says, gently brushing his thumb over my cheek. That is the moment I knew I was in love with Edward Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

May 2009

I pulled up in front of Jacob and Leah Black's house on the La Push Reservation. I was so thankful for my old friend, Jacob, and his wife. Since I had moved here 6 months ago to take care of Charlie, they had stepped in so willingly to help me with Nessie. I see now why Charlie loved this family so much. Charlie had stage 4 lung cancer. I had stayed away from Forks since Thanksgiving my senior year in high school. Charlie had been out several times to visit me and Nessie in Phoenix as I went through my nursing program. I had found out about Charlie's cancer and it was not a choice, but necessary to come out to live with him. I felt tremendously guilty for not having been here for him all these years. I recalled Charlie mentioning a year and a half before of the Cullen's move from Forks so I no longer had reason to stay away. I wanted to make sure Nessie and I got to spend quality time with Charlie before he…

It had been two months, now, since Charlie's passing. I could pack Nessie up and move to Florida to be near my Mom and Phil, but they were always traveling and the humidity of Florida never did appeal to me. I could move back to Phoenix, but there was still a danger with James…

June 2008

I was getting off shift at the Community Hospital that had been my home away from home during my nursing internship. As I approached my car I heard my name being called from behind so I turned to look to see who it was.

It was James, quickly approaching. He was tall and lean. His long blonde hair was slicked back into a ponytail. He smiled a cocky smile as I stopped and turned. His mom was a patient here. She was always in and out and had passed away earlier in my shift.

"Oh, hey, James," I started. "I'm really sorry for your loss." I saw his smirk change into a face that I thought meant to mock sorrow.

"Yeah, I'm just glad she's at peace, now," He said, softly. "But mostly I'm sorry I wont get to see you anymore." He added, smile returned to his face. He placed a hand on my shoulder and it sent a cold chill down my spine. I stepped backwards to release myself from his touch. He didn't seem to notice.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime," He said, taking a step towards me. This wasn't the first time he asked me out. I sighed and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, James. I'm not dating right now. You know that," I said, looking now at the ground. His gaze made me uncomfortable.

"I know, I know. You got a kid. That's no problem! I'm not one of those guys who cares. Just dinner, Bella," He pleaded. Damn, I should have told him I had a boyfriend. A big, burly boyfriend. But I sucked at lying.

"No, thank you, though, James. Listen, I have to get going, but good luck," I said, quickly turning on my heal to go. He grabbed my arm, hard and a surprised gasp escaped my lips. He pulled my closer to him and his face was furious.

"Why do you keep rejecting me," he asked through a clenched jaw. I was furious more than afraid. I looked hard into his eyes. "Let. Go. Of. Me," I said with a low voice. He released my arm and walked a step backwards, a huge smile on his face.

"You LIKE it rough," He laughed. I continued to glare at him.

"James, NEVER touch me again. I WILL call the police, do I make myself clear," I demanded. He laughed and then bowed in a sarcastic gesture. He turned and heading back towards the hospital.

I turned and got into my car. I felt tears swelling up in my eyes. A sob escaped my lips. Taking a deep breathe, I shook it off. I couldn't let Nessie see me like this. With another deep breathe, I started the car and headed to pick Nessie up.

May 2009

I pulled up the hospital in Forks. My decision in Charlie's passing was to stay. I loved it here. It harbored good memories. It was a place, thanks to the Cullen's, that I could go back to being a kid. Living with Renee was fun, but when I was with her, I took on more of the parent role. Summer's here meant being a kid, having fun, letting go. It felt right to raise Nessie here. I felt this was always, really, our home.

I was lucky enough to find a job in the ER. I had mostly regular hours which meant I could make a more normal life for Nessie. Leah would watch her for me during the day when I worked and Nessie loved it there. She also watched her niece, Ella, who was around Nessie's age. Seeing them together made me ache for my Alice.

Summer of 2004

I was nearly 18 and had never "needed" to be watched by Esme Cullen for some years, but that didn't keep me from spending nearly every waking hour at the Cullen's house with Alice. As I pulled up in front of their house for the first time that summer, Alice nearly knocked me over as she bounded towards me with open arms. I embraced her back, and we were both jumping up and down in excitement. She immediately withdrew her hug and held me out at arms length, clicking her tongue.

"What ARE you wearing," She said, looking me up and down. I shrugged and smiled at her. She had always been way more into fashion then I ever had. She pulled my arm and we entered the house. Emse came out of the kitchen and hugged me tightly.

"I've missed you, Bella," she said. She was so warm and motherly. I had missed her so much, myself.

"Okay, enough! You'll see her all summer, Mom! Let's go, Bella," She said, pulling me towards the stairs. As started to climb stairs, I heard another voice from the top and I blushed just hearing it.

"Why, hello, Bella," Edward said, smiling at me with his crooked smile. He smiled that smile, not knowing how it melted my heart.

"Hi-Hi, Edward. I didn't know- I thought that-" I stuttered. _Pull yourself together, Swan, I thought. "It's good to see you," I finally got out. I smiled and put my eyes to the floor. I knew my face must be beat red with embarrassment. Alice huffed and then pulled me fast up the stairs and into her room._

_She pulled me to her bed and sat down dramatically. _

"_Bella," She whined. "Still? You STILL looooove Edward," She emphasized "love" a little too loud. _

"_Ssshhhhh! You said he wasn't going to BE here this summer! I wasn't mentally prepared," I explained in a hushed tone. She doubled-over in laughter._

"_You were mentally-PREPARED," She spit out, still heaving in laughter. I whacked her on the shoulder and buried my face in my hands. She took a deep breathe and got back to her senses._

"_I know, I know. He cancelled his trip. He said he'd rather volunteer at the hospital this summer," She said, casually filing her nails. She then stopped and put on a curious face. "Come to think of it…He announced that decision right after I confirmed that you would be coming back this summer…Hmmm…Curious," She said, going back to filing her nails. I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. She looked at me and winked._

_May 2009_

_I sat at the nurses station and updated the charts as I had just taken vitals from my patients. _

"_Hey, Bella," Kate said as she sat next to me. I looked up and smiled. She was a sweet woman and had welcomed me into this hospital with open arms. Besides the Blacks', she was my only friend here._

"_Hey, Kate! Anything…special…happen this weekend," I asked, trying to remain casual as I wrote in the charts. She smiled and elbowed me in the ribs._

"_Why, yes. It was an…interesting weekend," She replied, just as casually, taping her left hand on the desk next to me. I grabbed her hand and began to examine the new diamond ring that decorated it and gasped._

"_It that a…mole," I asked, jokingly. She whacked my on the shoulder and I gave her a hug, and we jumped up and down. "Congratulations!" I said, pushing her away to look at the ring again._

"_Why thank you. I say, about time," She laughed again. Just then, Doctor Smith walked over to the Nurses station._

"_Good morning, ladies. I thought I would introduce you to our new resident," He started. Doctor Smith was a plump and kind-hearted man. He had seen Charlie throughout his illness and had a wonderful bedside manner. He helped me get the job at this hospital. We smiled at his statement and rose to greet the new Resident. "Aw, there his is now," He said as a man with golden brown hair turned the corner and headed in our direction. My heart stopped beating and I let out a gasp. Kate looked at me, puzzled._

"_Ladies, this is Doctor Edward Cullen," He said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Edward looked up and immediately caught my eye. A smile spread across his face, which was even more handsome and perfect since I had seen him almost 5 years ago._

"_Bella," He exclaimed, reaching out for a hug. I could see Kate's eyes were now bugging out of her face. _

"_Um, hello, Edward," I replied, still in a state of shock._

"_When did you- I mean do you…You live here, now," he asked. _

"_I do…I came when Charlie found out he was sick and decided to stay," I said, carefully choosing my words. His face looked at me with tenderness and he squeezed my shoulder._

"_I'm sorry, I had no idea…Is he…" He said, pulling me into him. My mind was dizzy with his smell, the feel of his embrace. All of a sudden, I felt 17 again. But then a thought jumped back in my mind. Nessie. Oh, God, what had I done? I felt my chest tighten. I pushed away and avoided his eyes. _

"_It's okay- I've got…I have a patient to check on. It's good to see you, Edward…Ur, Doctor Cullen," I rambled. Not waiting for him to respond, I took off down the hall. I veered into the ladies room and locked myself in a stall. I wished that could disappear at that moment and I gave in to the sobs that overtook my body_

_Summer of 2004_

_I got out of my car and bounded up the steps of their porch. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again, harder. Still, no answer. With a huff, and jumped down the stairs and went to face Alice's window._

"_Alice," I yelled. "AAALLL-ICCE!"_

"_She took of this morning with that kid, Jasper," I heard a voice coming from behind me._

"_Oh," I replied, sadly. I felt my face drop. Alice had mentioned her new boyfriend, Jasper. Actually, that is all she talked about for the last week. _

"_He surprised her this morning. She told me to tell you, 'Sorry' if I saw you," he explained, stepping closer to me. I smiled at him and shrugged my shoulders._

"_Eh, it was bound to happen sometime," I sighed. He laughed at my expression._

"_Hmm, I was thinking about doing some fishing. Seeing as your plans have changed, you want to join me…that is, if you promise not to jump in," he added, teasingly. I gave him a grumpy look._

"_Fine, but you bait my hook. I can't handle guts," I said, casually. I was masking the urge to jump up and down at the opportunity spend time with Edward Cullen. EDWARD CULLEN! Alone!_

_We spent all day by the river. We talked about the future, our plans, our dreams. He said after he graduated next year, he wanted to go on to medical school, follow in his father's footsteps. We talked about how we both wished to travel the world, go on adventures. _

_The sun was setting and we packed up and headed back. I felt I was walking on a cloud. My thoughts were going over every conversation, every move Edward had made. Before I knew it, my lack of concentration caused me to miss the fallen tree to my right. My foot caught on it and I fell to the earth and landed with a hard thud. I moaned, not in pain, but in complete embarrassment. _

_Edward dropped what he was carrying and rushed over to me, helping me to my feet._

"_Are you alright," he exclaimed, examining my hands and arms._

"_Yes, I'm fine…Just clumsy," I sighed and I started brushing the dirt off my clothes. He smiled at that comment and helped brush me off. _

"_You got a little dirt, here," He said, brushing his thumb against my cheek. He was so close to me that I could feel his warm breathe on my face. My heart beat was going a million miles a minute as his hand touched my face. He stopped moving his fingers. His hand gently cupped my face. He stared into my eyes, an intensity I had never seen before._

"_You are…so beautiful, Bella," He said, in a husky voice. Just then, he leaned his face closer to mine and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. He kissed me gently, tugging at my lower lip. His free hand found itself on the small of my back and pushed me into him. My lips echoed his and I hungrily kissed him back. My arms wrapped around his neck. Suddenly, he pushed me away._

"_I can't- I can't, it's not right," He said, grabbing the items he dropped and heading off, quickly to the house._

_I stood still, where I had been standing. I put my hand to my lips, which were still tingling. My heart was still racing. I smile slowly spread across my face._

"_He kissed me," I whispered to myself, in delight._

_May 2009_

_I heard the door open and shut._

"_Bella! Bella, is that you," Kate asked, with a concerned voice._

"_I- I'm not feeling to well, Kate. I think I need to go home. Could you let Doctor Smith know," I said, through sobs._

"_Yes, of course, Bella. Do you- Do you want to talk," She asked._

"_Not right, now, Kate. But thank you," I whispered. With that, I took a deep breathe and composed myself. I got out of the stall and splashed cold water on my face. Kate patted my back and offered me a shy smile._

"_I've messed up. I messed up big," I explained, looking at her through my puffy eyes._

"_I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," She offered. I sighed. _

"_It's worse," I said under my breathe and left the bathroom. I hurried down the hallway and made it safely into my car. I headed back to La Push. I had to see my Nessie._


	3. Chapter 3

Summer of 2004

Alice and I were painting our toenails in her room.

"I'm sooo sooo sorry about yesterday, Bella," Alice said, looking at me with doe eyes.

"Like I said the first 100 times, it's fine! I totally understand," I replied, trying to hold back my smile. If she only knew how grateful to Jasper I was for yesterday…

"Why," She said, looking at me with narrowed eyes.

I looked at her innocently, " Because you are growing into a woman and being such, when a woman has feelings for a man, she may want to act on those feelings, and-" I said, mocking a terrible after-school movie we had watched on Lifetime the year before. She threw a pillow across the room cutting me off mid-sentence.

"Stop," She laughed.

"So," I asked, looking at her with one eye brow up, "What, exactly, did you DO yesterday WITH Jasper?"

"More importantly, what were YOU doing with MY brother all day yesterday," She asked, looking at me suspiciously. I blushed and looked back down at my nails. I loved Alice and she knew all my secrets. I thought, since this WAS her brother, it would be better if I kept this to myself. If I ever wanted even a chance at another kiss from Edward, Alice would need to be kept in the dark.

"Alice Cullen! Do NOT change the subject! What were you up to, yesterday? I need details," I exclaimed. She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell, Bella," She giggled. I got up and pretended to stretch, quickly grabbing her cell phone off her dresser.

"Jasper isn't a lady. I'll just find out from him," I said as I ran out her room. I sprinted down the hallway and down the stairs. Alice was hot on my trail.

"Don't you DARE, Bella," She huffed as she chased me around the couch, Just then, her phone started ringing. We both stopped and stared at it. I read the caller id.

"It's Jasper," I whispered and smiled big, flipping open the phone and putting it my ear. "Jasper! We were just talking about you-" I sang into the phone. Alice had reached me by then and yanked the phone from my hand, walking away in a huff. I laughed and fell backwards onto the couch. Just then, I realized the couch was already occupied. Edward's beautiful face was flashing that amazing grin at me.

"You are very brave, Bella. Alice is never going to forgive you," he scolded me.

"She is very forgiving," I assured him.

"Are you very forgiving, too, Bella," He asked, looking at me, more serious now.

"I am," I replied softly, looking into his eyes.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday," He said in a low voice.

"I'm not," I said as I jumped off the couch. I looked back at him and flashed him a smile. I saw he was smiling in return.

May 2009

My heart was beating out of my chest as I neared the Black's house. I had called ahead and let them know I was coming back. I could see Jacob waiting on the porch for me when I pulled up. On the weekends growing up, if I wasn't with the Cullen's, I was with Jacob and his sisters. He was funny and could always get me out of my funk. Once, he expressed his undying love for me over an ice cream sundae but I had already fallen in love with Edward. He was able to get over it quickly when Leah moved to town.

"Bella, what is it? What's wrong," He asked as I approached where he had been pacing.

"It's nothing. I just can't face up to my mistakes," I mumbled. He stopped and looked at my with a puzzled face. "Edward is in town…a RESIDENT at the hospital." I said, sitting on the top step and pulling my knees into my chest. Jacob took a seat next to me and put his arm around me.

"Aw, Bells. I'm sorry," He said. "But it was going to happen, eventually…Are you gonna tell him?"

"What do I say, Jacob? 'Oh hey, hi, Edward. By the way, I bore your child four years ago. Sorry for not calling sooner,'" I replied sarcastically. He sighed.

"He deserve to know, Bella. And she deserves a father," Jacob said after a moment.

"I know…I just don't know how to go about it," I explained.

"You are a good person, Bella. I know this is hard, but you'll do the right thing," Jacob said, standing up. I joined him standing and we walked towards the front door.

"Gee, thanks," I murmured behind him. The door flung open and Nessie bounded into my open arms. My little ray of sunshine melted my stress and I hugged her tightly.

"Mama, you came back," She sang.

"Yes, of course! I couldn't be away from you on your birthday," I explained, kissing her on the crown of her head. "See you guys at the café later," I called behind me as I buckled Nessie in her booster seat.

Summer of 2004

It had been 6 days since that wonderful, exquisite kiss. Edward hadn't said a word to me, not that I had even seen him around. Alice had gone off again today with Jasper. I decided to make it a beach day. I unpacked my towel and found a quiet spot and began to read.

"Bella," Edward said to me. We were in a meadow and he was holding me a kissing me. "Bella," he said again but it was getting hotter. "Bella, wake up," The image of the meadow erased and I opened my eyes, blinking into the bright sun. I was shocked to actually see him and Emmett standing over me. I hurriedly pulled myself up into a sitting position and felt an immense pain on my stomach.

"Did you forget sunscreen," Edward asked. Emmett started snickering, uncontrollably. Looked down at my stomach and then my arms and legs. Bright red. Tomato red!

"Aw, crap! This is WASHINGTON! Who needs sunscreen here," I pouted.

"Uh, apparently YOU," Emmett answered, shaking his head. I sneered at him and pulled myself to my feet. Keeping my burned arms away from my body I began to carefully gather my things. Edward reached down to help me.

"Here, I'll get that," He said, grabbing my towel and book.

"Thanks," I answered, shyly. I started waddling to my car, to keep the pain at a minimum. Emmett was doubled over holding his stomach with laughter. I shot him a dirty look.

"I'll take you home, Bella," Edward offered. "I don't know if it would be safe to drive like that."

"Thanks," I said through gasps of pain.

When we got back to my house, Edward helped me in and got me settled on the couch.

"Do you have any aloe," he asked.

"I think in the medicine cabinet," I replied, the mortification now setting in. He returned with an asprin, a wet wash clothe and some aloe. He started rubbing the aloe on my arms. _Ugh, if only I didn't have third degree burns all over my body, otherwise I could enjoy this, I thought as he worked his way up to my shoulders._

"_You're going to be a great doctor," I said, through closed eyes. "Good bedside manners." I felt his hands stop working and opened my eyes, meeting his gaze._

"_It's because of you, you know," He said._

"_That you have good bedside manners," I asked, tilting my head to the side. He laughed and he looked at me again. There was so much tenderness in his eyes._

"_No, wanting to be a doctor. My dad is a good doctor but I never really…I didn't know if that was for me. Then that day you decided to take a swim," He stopped and grinned at me. I scoffed but smiled back. "Well, that day when I was helped you breathe, I knew right then. I wanted to help people. I wanted to help save lives."_

_This touched me and my eyes started to water. He reached out and dried a tear that had gotten loose down my cheek._

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," He said soothingly. I took in a deep breathe and returned the smile to my face._

"_That's just…I'm really glad you decided that," I replied weakly. There was an awkward silence and I felt I needed to try to clear that tension. "I had forgotten, that was the first time you kissed me," I said, mockingly. _

_His head shot up and looked at me with wide eyes. "Bella, about that. I shouldn't have-" He started. I could feel myself start to get angry._

"_Shouldn't have what? I'm not a child anymore, Edward. I can handle a kiss," I shot at him. _

"_I know, I know. Believe me, I know you're not a child, Bella. You're a beautiful young lady," He said. I stood up and stared at him, angrily._

"_Young lady," I questioned him._

"_You know what I mean, Bella. The point is, you are in high school. I am in college," He tried to explain._

"_Gee, thanks for clearing THAT up for me," I snapped._

"_What I mean is…I shouldn't have LIKED it," He said, softly. He now stood up next to me. This caught me off guard and my mouth hung open as I stared at him. "Bella, you're my baby sister's best friend."_

"_I understand, Edward," I said, my head hung in defeat. His hand found my face and he lifted my chin up so he could look at me._

"_Don't look like that…Don't be sad. You, Bella, you are more mature than the girls I know in college and far, far more beautiful," he said, leaning closer. Like a magnetic pull, his face got closer to mine and in that minute, our lips met again. He kissed me with even more passion, more vigor than last time. His hands worked their way through my hair and down the back of my neck. And like that, he pulled away, leaving us both panting. He sighed and walked through the house. I heard the front door shut and a car pull away._


	4. Chapter 4

May 2009

I had assured Dr. Smith that I was feeling much better and that I was ready to work. I took a deep breathe to steady my emotions as I walked through the door. Kate immediately pulled me aside when she saw me.

"Bella, are you alright? What happened? Is it something with that stalker," She asked me, quickly. I turned to look at her, surprised. I hadn't thought of him in some time. "Because, you know, Garrett can set up a patrol car at your house." she added.

I waved a dismissive hand. "No, no. It's not that. He is going to be in jail for a while. I just…I knew Dr. Cullen from a while ago and …" I started. As soon as I said his name, Kate's face lit up in shock. She turned to glance at the picture of Nessie I had taped up where I usually sat. I shouldn't have said anything. She turned back to me and leaned closer.

"Does he know," Kate whispered. She was too observant. But it was not hard to see Edward in Nessie. Her eyes were the same striking green, her nose was a little carbon copy of his perfect nose and her upper lip had the perfect bow. Tears watered up in my eyes and I shook my head, slowly, looking away. "Oh, Bella," Kate replied, voice full of concern.

The day was going pretty fast and there had still been no sign of Edward. That made me feel better, for now. I was still formulating my plan on how I would tell him. I took my lunch break and settled down in a corner table. I saw something moving towards me. I looked up and realized it was Edward. He smiled at me when he reached the table.

"Do you mind if I join you," He asked, shyly. I looked up and smiled at him.

"Sure, of course you can," I replied breathlessly.

"So…how have you been, Bella," he asked, softly.

"Fine. Good. How about you," I asked, playing with my salad in front of me.

"Good. So, what's happened since I saw you last," He asked, trying to sound casual. _Oh, a little of this, a little of that…oh, and I had your daughter,_ I thought. I sighed.

"Finished high school, went to nursing school…Charlie got sick and we came back to be with him," I explained.

"That's really good, I mean the part about going to nursing school…I'm so sorry about Charlie," He said. He reached across and put his hand on mine. I could feel the tears starting up again. I fought them as hard as I could.

"How about you, Edward," I asked.

"Well, I got my B.S., started medical school and came back to Forks to work through my residency. It seemed like the natural thing to do now that Jasper and Alice have taken teaching jobs here. My parents have started to move back into our old house…It almost feels like old times," he explained. As soon as I heard Alice's name, I stopped breathing.

"Alice…How's Alice," I asked, staring at him intensely.

"She's good, Bella. She and Jasper got married last year. She seems really happy," He said, patting my hand. "I know she has missed you."

"I've missed her so much," I said, closing my eyes and searching for control of my emotions. I could feel him squeeze my hand.

"I know it must be hard, Bella. I know you have a lot on your plate being a single mom-" He said. My eyes popped open.

"What are you talking about," I demanded. _Oh, God, did he already know?_

"I ran into Jessica Stanley. She said you had a toddler…You know how she loves to gossip," He explained. Horror washed over my face. "You don't?"

"No, no, I do. It's just that- I need to go," I said as I abruptly stood up from the table and started to walk away. I stopped in my tracks and my head dropped. I turned back to him.

"Edward, would you like to have dinner sometime this week…There's something- I really want to talk to you some more." I said. His face brightened up and a grin spread across it.

"I would love to have dinner with you, Bella Swan," He replied.

Summer of 2004

I sat in Alice's room, reading an article of Cosmo out loud as she attempted to French braid my hair.

"Ouch, geez. Gentle," I whined.

" Beauty hurts, Bella," Alice replied, grabbing another junk of my hair and jerking up. I flinched.

"Can beauty wait until after lunch," I asked, trying to break free of the grasp she had on my hair. She released my hair .

"Fine," she sighed. She glanced out her window. "Oh, it looks like Edward is back."

I tried to maintain my composure. After I last saw him, he had taken off for a friend's house. I started to walk to her door, trying not to move too quickly. Alice, who was highly perceptive as it was, looked at me and smirked. "Mmm hmmm," She hummed under her breathe. I flashed her an innocent look.

We raced down the stairs. I stopped dead in my tracks as I glanced into the living room. Edward was standing in the middle, his back to me, and he was hugging a beautiful blonde woman. She was like a Greek goddess with perfect skin, perfect nose, perfect lips. I felt like I was on a sinking ship. I had to escape.

"I- I forgot. I promised Charlie I would bring him lunch," It said, quietly Alice who was next to me, watching the scene unfold in the living room.

"Bella…" she whispered, looking at me with sad eyes. I smiled weakly and rushed out the door.

When I got home, I went to my room and crumpled into tears on my bed. Charlie got home a few hours later and let me to myself as female tears were to him as kryptonite was to Superman. I had finally fell asleep when I heard something hit my window.

"What the heck," I said to myself. _Thud. I looked out and saw Edward standing there. I opened my window and leaned out._

"_Edward," I rasped. "What are you doing?" He went to the wall and started climbing the trellis. "Edward, what the heck?" I whispered as he pulled himself into the window._

"_Bella, you turned off your phone," He said, quietly._

"_Yes. I know that. You climbed my to my window to tell me my phone was off," I asked in disbelief. He closed his eyes and shook his head, pacing back and forth. He ran his fingers through his hair and stopped moving._

"_Bella…I…What you saw, today. That was Rosalie," He started. _

"_Good to know. Now go home," I replied, pushing him towards the window._

"_No, wait. Rosalie is Emmett's girlfriend," He explained, taking my hands off his chest and holding my wrists tightly. Relief washed over me._

"_Okay, so. Why did you need to come tell me that," I asked. I knew, I dreamed, the answer I wanted._

"_Because, I'm sick of trying to stay away from you," He said, pulling me closer to him._

"_Then don't," I replied._

_May 2009_

_I got off work and parked near the restaurant that I was supposed to meet Jacob, Leah and Nessie. I sat on a bench and my mind went over my conversation with Edward. I imagined what life would have been like has I just told him…_

"_Bella," The sound of my name shot me back into reality. My eyes focused on it's source._

"_Alice," I said, breathlessly. She and Jasper were standing in front of me. I couldn't believe it. Tears built up for what felt like the hundredth time today. She looked perfect. Her hair still cut short and framing her face. She lost some of the roundness of her youth and she looked beautiful. As I looked into her eyes, I saw the hurt and the anger._

"_Edward had mentioned he saw you," She said, casually, glancing away. I fought the urge to run to her and hug her as hard as I could. I took a step towards her and she took a step back._

"_Alice, I'm so sorry," I replied, weakly._

"_Sorry for WHAT, Bella? Sorry for taking off in the night that Thanksgiving? Sorry for never answering my calls, my letters? You were my BEST friend, Bella! I needed you! Why did you cut me off? What did I do to deserve that," Her voice and risen and tears were running down her face. I hung my head and choked back a sob._

"_Alice, it wasn't you. You didn't DO anything," I cried, pleading with her to understand._

"_Then who? Edward? You broke his HEART, Bella! There was nothing ever going on with Tanya. You should have let him explain," She replied, angrily._

"_I know, it wasn't that. There was something else, something bigger," I tried to get out. Alice stepped towards me, I could see concern in her eyes._

"_Then, what? I knew all your secrets. What couldn't you tell me," She asked, softly. Just then, I could hear a child singing. I turned around and saw Jacob carrying Nessie on his shoulders._

"_Sorry, we're late, Bells," Jacob said, setting Nessie on the ground. He glanced up and in a moment realized who I was standing with, but it was too late. "Oh crap," I heard him mutter._

"_Mooommyyy," Nessie exclaimed as she ran towards me. I reached out and scooped her up. She saw my face and patted my cheek gently. "Don't be sad, Mama," she said, kissing my cheek. I heard a gasp. I looked back at Alice's shocked face as she stared at Nessie. Nessie heard it too, and looked over at Alice._

"_Alice," I said, calmly, "This is Renesme, my daughter. Nessie, this is-" _

"_I know who she is, Mommy," Nessie said cutting me off. "You're my Aunt Alice." Alice slowly reached out and touched Nessie's cheek._

"_I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I said with fresh tears running down my cheek. "But she always, always knew about you."_


	5. Chapter 5

Fall of 2004

I sat on my bathroom floor, ringing my hands anxiously. My timer beeped and I jumped up to read the results. How could a little, plastic stick be so foreboding. I looked at the results and grabbed the box, going back and forth between the two.

"Plus means positive," I gasped. Tears over took me and I sat back on the ground. My cell phone was clutched in my hand. I needed to call Alice so much…but I couldn't.

It hadn't taken Alice long to figure out what was going on with Edward and I, as much as we tried to hide it. In case it didn't work out or if we ever got into an argument, I didn't want her to have to choose sides. He was her brother first and foremost. She was furious with me for not telling her from the beginning, but understood my explanation. She never ceased to tease me when we were alone.

_One night in August, I could feel the summer was closing in on us. Edward and I had hiked to a meadow not far from his house, but far enough to give us some privacy. We laid, silently watching the stars. He heard me start to sniffle._

"_What's wrong, Bella," He asked as he rolled onto his side and brushed my cheek with his hand._

"_It's just that, I don't - want- to go. I don't- want- this to end," I sobbed. He pulled me into his arms and rocked me._

"_Me neither, Bella. Me neither," He cooed._

"_You don't understand, Edward," I exclaimed. "I love you, Edward. I've loved you so long." He stopped rocking and pulled away to look at my face. He was smiling._

"_I love you, too, Bella. So very much," he replied, kissing me gently on the mouth. He pulled away but I grabbed his face and pulled him back to me and we began kissing again. It was filled with desperation, and desire. _

Just over a month later, I was sitting on my bathroom floor holding a stick that would dictate where my life was heading. I finally opened the phone and dialed Alice's number.

"Hi," Alice exclaimed on the other end.

"Hey, Alice," I said, my voice cracking.

"I miss you, too," She responded.

"Alice…" I began.

"What is it, Bella? Are you okay," She asked. I took a breathe.

"Yes…I just wanted to let you know…"I began…I couldn't…

"Yes? What is it," She asked.

"It's just that…," I replied, looking for courage. "I'll be going to Forks for Thanksgiving."

"_Awesome! You just made my day," She squealed. I couldn't tell her. Not over the phone. _

_May 2009_

_I sat across from Alice in a table outside. Jasper had taken Nessie to go look at the fish tank in the restaurant. Hear face went from sadness to anger to compassion._

"_Bella, I don't understand…When did you…why didn't you…" She tried to get out. I could tell her mind was going a mile a minute._

"_I wanted to tell you so many times, Alice. I was so scared. Felt like I needed to talk to Edward, first. And then when I came over for Thanksgiving, I saw him with Tanya-" I explained but she cut me off. _

"_Bella, nothing EVER happened with Tanya," Alice exclaimed._

"_I know, Alice. It's just…I overheard him talking to her about school, about people they knew. They were having a normal conversation. His life was unfolding just as he planned. He was so excited about getting into med school…I couldn't take that away from him. I saw myself telling him. I saw him struggling to help me and the baby and trying to go through school. I saw him resent me and the baby…"I explained._

"_But that's not what would have happened, Bella," She said, reaching over and holding my hand._

"_Maybe, but maybe not. Then I saw him with Tanya. I saw him focusing on his studies and going out on the weekends and having fun, having a life. I saw him happy…I couldn't take that from him. I loved him too much," I said, looking at the table._

"_But why didn't you tell ME, Bella? Why couldn't you trust me enough to let me in. I would have been their with you," She said, sadly._

"_I wanted to, Alice. You are my best friend. I wanted to cry to you and tell you everything. But you're his sister. I couldn't ask you to keep such a big secret from him," I explained, desperately. She drew a deep breathe and nodded in understanding._

"_How did I not know," She asked, partly to herself. _

_Fall of 2004_

_For the fifth consecutive morning, I was clinging to the side of the toilet, wrenching. There was a soft knock at door and my mom slipped in. She sat next to me. I looked over at her, she had tears in her eyes._

"_Bella," she said, softly, holding her arms out to me. I fell into them sobbing. She stroked my hair, soothingly. "You're a just baby," She sobbed in my hair. "How can you have a baby, when you are still my baby." I hugged her tighter and my body shook with tears._


	6. Chapter 6

May 2009

I tucked Nessie into bed and crawled under the covers to read stories to her.

"Mama," she asked.

"Yes, sweetie," I replied.

"If Aunt Alice is here…then…is my Daddy here, too," she asked. I looked over at her face. I brushed my fingers across her forehead and her cheek.

"Yes, baby. He's here, too. You'll meet him soon," I said, kissing her forehead.

Alice had promised to let me tell Edward, but I had to do it soon. She mentioned how excited Esme and Carlisle would be to find out they were grandparents. I agreed with her whole heartedly and explained I had already asked to meet with him sometime this week.

The next morning at work, I sought him out. He was signing charts in the nurses station.

"Good morning, Edward," I said, shyly. He looked up and flashed me that beautiful crooked grin.

"Good morning, Bella," He said. I began nervously fumbling with a pen.

"I was wondering…if you might be available tonight to go out," I said, looking at the desk.

"Tonight is not good. I am filling in tonight for Dr. Walden…How's tomorrow night? I'll be you up around, say, 7," he replied, earnestly.

I looked up and smiled at him. "That sounds great," I replied. My chest was tight. I could barely breathe. I wondered how he would react to the news. I wondered if he would ever forgive me.

Fall of 2004

Renee and I decided perhaps this was not the best time to tell Charlie my news. Not with Edward home on break and Charlie with an arsenal of loaded weapons at his disposal. I was well into my second trimester but was not showing, too much, luckily. With the right layering of clothes, it was hard to tell. I just looked a little plump. Plus, it was cold which gave me a good excuse to wear a thick sweater at most times.

Charlie and I shared a Thanksgiving brunch as he took the night shift that day. When I arrived at the Cullen's house, I was nervous and out of sorts. Alice greeted me at the door and muttered about my sweater being unfashionable. She pulled me into the living room and I greeted Esme and Carlisle.

"Come on, let's go see everyone else," Alice insisted, pulled me with her to the game room.

It looked like a dorm party in there with several college-aged kids sitting around talking. I recognized Rosalie right away. She and Emmett were playing a round of pool. Emmett looked up and waved at me enthusiastically. My eyes scanned the room for Edward, but I didn't see him.

"He's here somewhere," Alice said, nudging me. I smiled and nodded my head.

I sat down on a couch and looked around the room, processing it. How would I go about telling him? I don't want to make a scene…I don't want all these strangers in on this information. My heart rate quickened as I nervously waited for Edward to show up. I couldn't sit still another moment. I got up and excused myself to the restroom.

The one closest was occupied so I went up to Alice's bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I took deep, calming breathes and reigned in my emotions. I got out of the bathroom and started back towards the stairs when I heard a familiar voice. Although I shouldn't have, I backed up a few spaces, closer to Edward's room.

"…We should really get back downstairs, Tanya," I heard Edward say.

"Not a chance! We never get an opportunity to talk alone. Besides, I haven't officially congratulated you on your acceptance to Med School! I'm just excited we are going to be going to the same school together for a little longer," Exclaimed what must have been Tanya. I took a step back. He had written to me a few times since this summer and we had talked on the phone. He had never told me he already found out he got into med school. I let it sink in for a moment.

"Thanks. I'm just glad Pete got in, too. It will be nice to know someone. It's going to be rough," He sighed.

"Yeah, but if anyone can excel in Med school, it will be you, Edward Cullen," I heard her say.

I couldn't listen in any longer. I headed back towards the stairs and down into the game room. I was on the verge of a panic attack. I looked for Alice, but she was in the corner cuddling with Jasper. I had to get out of here. I turned to leave the room and ran straight into a girl. I gasped and apologized for my clumsiness. I took a step back. She was a gorgeous strawberry-blonde. Tall and lean. She looked like she stepped out of a magazine. Attached to her arm was Edward. I looked at him. My eyes had already had tears in them. He looked back at me with a look of what could only be guilt. I pushed past Tanya and headed for the door.

"Bella," I heard Edward's voice calling from behind me.

"I've got to go," I cried, without turning around.

I reached the car and turned on the engine. Edward had caught up with me. I rolled down the window.

"I can't, Edward…," I choked out.

"Can't what? Bella, it's not what-" He tried to explain. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't do this to him. I opened my eyes and pleaded with him, "Please, Edward. I have to go." He stepped back and I pushed on the accelerator.

May 2009

After picking Nessie up, I headed to the grocery store to grab a few things. I unbuckled her from her seat and pulled her into my arms.

My mind was lost again, thinking about the past, and about tomorrow night.

"Beeeellaaaa," a man said. It immediately sent chills down my spine. _It couldn't be, I thought to myself. "Bella, honey. Aren't you gonna stop and talk to an old friend," he said, with a cold voice. I turned around and James was walking towards me. Panic set in and I scanned the parking lot, looking for anyone to help. _

"_James, what are you doing-" I snapped, my voice shaking, my hands digging in my purse for pepper spray…but I had Nessie…I couldn't use it, what if I got on Nessie…_

"_Doing what? Out of jail? Good behavior. I was a perfect angel. I had to come see you, Bella. You know, you are not an easy woman to find. I thought you could explain yourself, you know. I wanted to give you the chance," He said, with an evil laugh. I turned around to run, but he grabbed my hair, snapping my head back. Nessie screamed. He grabbed me around my waist and put his mouth next to my ear._

"_Not so fast, baby. We have some unfinished business," He whispered into my ear._

"_Leave me alone, James," I cried. I carefully dropped Nessie to the ground and pushed her in front of me. She looked at me with horror. "Run, baby. Run," I screamed. She hesitated. "RUN!" I screamed at her again. I grabbed the pepper spray and tried to pull it out but he caught my hand. I turned and kicked him in the groin and he punched me in my face. I fell to the ground. I could see Nessie standing still, crying. He kicked me hard in the stomach. "Run, Nessie," I said, gasping. Something hard hit my head and everything went dark._


	7. Chapter 7

Summer of 2008 (one year before present day)

A month after my encounter with James, letters and flowers started showing up at the nurses station addressed to me. The first few letters were admiring but they grew increasingly angry. I stopped opening them and began to throw them away. Soon, they were showing up at my apartment, too. My friends told me to contact the police, but I felt he would grow tired of this game eventually. I shrugged it off.

One day after work, I headed towards Nessie's preschool and I saw him just outside, leaning in the doorway.

"James? What are you doing here," I asked, lowly, angry rising in me. He smiled at me.

"Just wanted to see my favorite girls," He replied, smugly.

"You need to go, James. Now," I said through a clenched jaw. He laughed at this and leaned his face towards mine.

"I love it when you get feisty, Bella," he hissed and walked away. My heart was pounding. He knew where I lived. He knew where Nessie was. I began to panic.

I went straight to the police department and explained the situation. They helped me through the process of getting a restraining order and were going to send an officer to warn him to stay away from me. I was satisfied with this, but wondered how a piece of paper would keep him away.

A few weeks later, I headed to my car after getting off of work. I had worked a double so it was dark out. I could see something was scratched into the side of my car.

"Bitch" it read. I gasped.

"Like my handiwork," A voice said from the shadows. I turned quickly, heading back towards the hospital. I felt him grab my arm and pull me back. I swiveled and landed a kick right in his groin. He doubled over in pain, but I wasn't able to shake him loose from my arm. He recovered quickly and slapped me hard in the face which sent be backwards a couple steps.

"NO," I yelled and landed a punch in his gut. He charged at me, knocking me to the ground.

"FIRE," I yelled, again. I remembered that from an episode of Oprah. People don't come if you yell for help but they will respond to fire. His hand covered my mouth and I bit it, hard. He let out a gasp.

I turned and crawled towards my purse and yanked out my pepper spray. I heard him stepping towards me so I turned quickly and let it loose on his face. He stopped and put his hands over his face, gasping. I got up onto my feet and ran straight to the hospital.

Present Day: May 2009

I could hear muffled and frantic voices around me. My head was pounding. I blinked my eyes against the bright light. I felt a hand on my face.

"Bella, Bella, can you hear me," I desperate voice said. A flashlight passed both my eyes. My eyes started to focus. It was Edward's face looking down on me.

"Bella, do you remember what happened," he asked, I scanned the room. I saw Kate and Garrett, Carlisle and even Alice. I looked again, and gasped.

"Nessie," I yelled. Garrett stepped forward.

"Bella, do you know where she is? Was she with you," he asked, softly. I let out a cry and struggled to sit up. Edward's hands tried pushing me back down.

"Bella, no. Your head is injured. You have to stay down," He explained. I pushed his hands away from me, growing hysterical.

"Where is she? Oh God! No, no," I screamed.

"She wasn't with you when they found you, Bella. Do you know who did this to you," Garrett explained, calmly. My eyes flashed to Kate.

"James! It was James! Oh God, no," I sobbed, pulling my self up again, cringing against the pain in my head and stomach.

"Is that her father? Is this a custody battle," Edward asked, trying to push me back down.

"No, he's NOT her father," I sobbed, pushing at his strong hands that were trying to keep me on the bed. "She's YOUR daughter, Edward," I cried, my body shaking with sobs.

"What," he said, breathlessly. He sat on the bed, looking dazed as if someone had punched him. "What," he said again, looking at me in complete shock. Alice went over to him and wrapped an arm around him. He looked up at her, accusingly.

"Did YOU know this," He spit out. She shook her head, tears spilling out.

"I just found out yesterday, when I ran into them. Oh, Edward, she's beautiful," Alice said softly.

"Who's James, Bella? Do you have a last name? Do you know what kind of car he was driving," Garrett asked.

"He-he was- He- stalked me and-and I got a retraining order on him but he attacked me and- he was supposed to be in jail, he's supposed to be in JAIL," I said, through fits of hysteria.

Garrett turned to another officer. "Get Pheonix PD on the phone and see if they can send us the file. Also, find out from Sam if they were able to get anything from the security camera yet. Let's try to get a car description and a license plate number." He turned back to me. "Bella, do you know anything else about him? Do you have an idea of why he would want to take Nessie or where he might go?"

"He-he wants to punish me. Oh God, Nessie," I sobbed, my body was shaking all over. Carlisle moved closer and gently patted my head. He had a shot in his hand.

"Bella, honey, I am going to give you something to help you relax a bit," he explained. I started to protest. "Bella, the police are on it. There's nothing else you can do right now," he explained, injecting the drugs into my I.V. drip. Just as I started slipping back to sleep, I heard Edward say, "Let's get Emmett on the phone."

Summer of 2008

` The police were able to apprehend James quickly. Apparently, he already had a pretty long rapsheet and was still on probation for a domestic disturbance. He glared at me with hatred as I took the witness stand. I told the story of the letter's and of the attack. On the day of the sentencing, he looked back at me and smiled, licking his lips. I shuttered.

I was satisfied that we would spend time in jail and I would be able to get on with my life. That chapter was closed…or so I thought.


	8. Chapter 8

May 2009

When I next awoke, the room was dark. It took only a second after being awake that reality hit me. I gasped like a ton of bricks had been dropped on my chest. In a second, Esme was sitting on my bed, cooing and stroking my hair. I looked at her face, red and puffy from crying.

"Oh, Esme. I am so sorry! I didn't know what to do! I'm so sorry," I sobbed, she cradled my head and shushed me.

"It's okay, Bella, sweetie. It's going to be okay," She said. We cried silently together.

A few minutes later, Edward entered the room. He looked at me and then walked to the window, looking out. Esme kissed me on the forehead and got off the bed.

"I'm going to check on Alice. Bella, your Mom is on her way," Emse said, as she stepped out of the room. I looked at Edward, who was stilling standing, looking out the window.

"Bella, I don't understand. How could you not TELL me," he asked with a strained voice.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I thought I was protecting you," I offered, weakly.

"PROTECTING ME," He yelled, throwing me a dark look.

I closed my eyes. "Edward, that's not what I meant…I wanted to tell you…I didn't think I should ?tell you over the phone…I planned to tell you on Thanksgiving…" I explained.

"Why didn't you," he asked. His voice was softening just a bit.

"I…I heard you talking…how you got into Medical School and I didn't want to ruin that for you, Edward. I didn't want to ruin your dreams-" I explained.

"What do you know of my dreams, Bella," he snapped. "Did you ever think for a minute that maybe YOU were my dream come true? That maybe you and a baby, our baby, would be everything I needed? Everything I ever WANTED?"

"I knew you wanted to go to Medical school…I know you were already worried enough about making it through, without a distraction as big as…I loved you so much, Edward. I didn't want you to hate me, resent me," I said. He walked over and sat next to the bed, reaching out for my hand.

"I loved you, too, Bella. Hell, I still love you. I never got over you. I was so afraid when you left that day...I was afraid I would never see you again. Why didn't you just tell me, Bella? I would have been there for you and for the baby…For Nessie," He said gently, squeezing my hand.

"Oh, Edward," I cried. "I know I should have told you. And the longer I didn't tell you, the harder it was. I know I've messed up. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Does she know about me," He asked, his eyes were pained.

I nodded. "Yes, of course. I made a scrap book that we go through every night. It has you and Alice, your parents, Emmett."

"What did you tell her about me," He asked.

"That you were out saving people…like a super-hero," I said, grinning at the memory of how proud Nessie looked, thinking about her Daddy as a super hero. My eyes darkened and I started to shake. "They haven't found anything, have they," I asked.

"Not yet…They have a partial license plate…Emmett works in the Seattle branch of the FBI. They've got their best agents on it, Bella," He said. I broke at that moment, curling myself into a ball, letting the sobbing uncontrollably.

"I should have fought harder! I didn't protect her like I should have! I've failed her," I moaned. I saw the image of her standing and crying. I felt Edward get into bed with me and curl around me. I felt him try to hold me together as he broke to pieces himself.

*********

After a while, Emmett came into my room. He pulled up a chair.

"Anything," I asked, weakly. He shook his head. "Not yet," he replied.

I pulled myself up to a sitting position. "What are you doing, Bella," Edward asked. I started the rip the tape off of my IV. "No wait, stop. Bella, you can't!"

"I can't just sit here and wait, Edward. I can't, I can't," I said, angrily. "What if he calls the house? What if he wants a ransom or something? I have to be there!"

Edward stood up and walked towards the door. "Okay, Bella. You stay put and I'll get you checked out. Your head was…hurt…pretty bad, Bella. I'm going to stay with you. You still need to be watched for a while."

*******

Edward and I walked into the house. I went up the stairs and directly to her room. I laid in her bed and breathed in her scent. Edward grabbed a picture that was on her desk of her and Charlie.

"Alice is right," He said softly. "She really is beautiful." With that, he sat on her bed and started to cry. I pulled his head into my lap and stroked his hair.

*******

We must have fallen asleep. The next thing we knew, there was a commotion downstairs. We were half-way down when we heard Alice yelling.

"They think they have found her. Emmett is on his way. There is a report of a little girl left at a bus station," She said to us.

We sat and waited anxiously, praying that this was her, praying that she was alright. We heard a car pull up.

Edward stood to see who it was. "Bella, come out here," Edward demanded. I complied, rushing out the front door. I saw Emmett getting something the backseat of his car. He turned around and I could see he was holding Nessie. I rushed him and snatched her from him, holding her tightly.

"Oh, my baby. Oh, Nessie, baby," I cried, I pulled her back so I could take her in. I checked her face and her arms. "Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

She smiled at me, her eyes were so red. She looked so tired. But I saw nothing amiss, no bruises, no cuts. Besides being dirty, she was alright. She put her little hands on my face and brushed off my tears.

"Don't cry, Mama. I'm home," She said, comforting me. I could feel Edward at my side now. Nessie looked at him and her eyes got big. She smiled big and clapped her hands together in excitement.

"Daddy," she exclaimed, reaching for him. He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: Okay, so I suck! Sorry for the lack of an update! I promise, now that summer has come, I will be much better about updating!!! As always, Stephenie Meyer owns all thing Twilight!!!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After being thoroughly hugged by myself, Edward and the rest of the Cullen's, Edward and Carlisle examined her for injuries, while I paced nervously around her bedroom. I thought it best to have them look her over here, at home, where she was comfortable as opposed to taking her to the hospital and they agreed.

I swore, if I ever saw that bastard, James, I would tear him limb by limb. It's one thing to mess with me, but my daughter? I was so angry at him, I could taste it.

I heard the door open and Edward stepped in. I tried to read his face and it was calm by tired.

"She's fine, Bella. She's not injured. She is a little hungry, but other than that she's fine," he said. I sat on her bed and put my head in my hands, crying softly. He joined me and put am arm around me.

"And did she say anything about…him," I asked, unable to address that monster by a name.

"Not much. Emmett is with her right now, trying to see if he can get anything helpful from her," he said. I looked at him with concern and started to get up and go to her.

"Bella, don't worry. He's not pushing her. She's little, and she's tired. Rose is on her way down and she can help out tomorrow. She is actually a child psychologist now would be the best to help," he explained. I sighed and nodded my head.

"I should start dinner," I said, making my way downstairs.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. I've ordered a pizza," Alice's voice chimed from the kitchen.

Emmett, Carlisle and Nessie came out of my bedroom, with Emmett carrying Nessie. He was tickling her playfully and she was cracking up. When we all reached the living room, we stopped and Emmett put Nessie on the ground. I crouched down to look at her and grabbed her little hands in mine. I forced the tears in my eyes to stay and I smiled at her.

"Mommy missed you, sweetheart," I said. Nessie wrapped her little arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.

"I missed you, too, Mommy. But I was brave," she replied.

"I know you were, sweetheart. You are a brave girl," I replied.

"I don't want to see Mr. James anymore, though. He's grumpy," she complained. The mention of his name made my stomach turn.

"You will NEVER have to see him again, baby. Never" I replied, fiercely.

"Mommy," she said pulling back and looking at me with a serious expression. "Don't go with him, okay? He said he was going to make you go away with him and I would never see you again." She was started to tear up. I held her face in between my hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Listen to me, Nessie. I will never, ever leave you," I promised.

"But Mr. James told me that he was going to come back and get you," she sobbed. I pulled her into a hug. Emmett crouched down behind me.

"Nessie, honey, Uncle Emmett is not going to let anything bad happen to Mommy. I promise," he said gently.

"Okay," she replied, sadly.

"Pizza's here," Alice called out from the other room. Nessie pulled back and had a big smile on her face. Pizza was her favorite. She ran off towards the kitchen where Alice and Esme were getting plates ready.

I stood up and sighed.

"Bella…I think it is a good idea if I stayed here with you and Nessie, with that bastard still around," he said, getting angrier at the end of his sentence.

"That's a good idea, Edward," Emmett agreed. "And Bella, we are going to have a unit outside your house as well as following you around until we catch this guy. We WILL catch this guy, Bella," Emmett said, looking intense.

"Thank you, Emmett," I replied, patting his arm.

"Tomorrow, Rose wants to try to talk to Nessie. She wants to do art therapy, which she says works very well in children who are so young. I don't know that we can get any more information from her, but at least it will help her with the trauma of this experience," Emmett explained.

"That's great, Emmett. Thank you so much for…"I started by got choked up. He pulled me into a hug.

"No problem, Bells. We've missed you, kid. We are happy to have a little mini-Bella around," he chuckled. I pulled out of the hug and laughed with him, trying to dry my tears.

"So you and Rose, huh? Still hot and heavy," I asked playfully. He grinned.

"Yep, been married a couple years. And having a little boy in a few months," he said, proudly.

"That's great, Em! Congratulations," I replied happily.

We gathered in the living room, eating and laughing. Nessie was curled up next to Esme on the couch and I could see her head nodding and her eyes beginning to close. I had her hug and kiss everyone goodnight and changed her to her jammies.

I put her in bed and pulled out a few books to read.

"We don't have to go over the scrapbook anymore, now, do we Mama? Cuz they are all here," she said sleepily. I smiled at her.

"We can still go over it, sweetie. But now we can start adding to it," I replied. She smiled brightly at me.

"Goodnight, sweet Nessie," I murmured, kissing her cheek.

"Goodnight, Mama," she said, turning to her side and clutching her blankie.

I returned downstairs and bid goodnight to everyone.

I closed the front door and turned to Edward. He was standing, smiling at me with his hands in his pockets. He reminded me a lot of when we were younger.

"So…" I said, nervously. "You want to watch a movie?"

"Sure," he replied, just as nervously. "But first…Bella…are any of your Dad's guns in this house, still?"

"Yes. In the closet there," I replied, going towards the hall closet. I opened it and revealed the gun case. I gave him the combination. "Do you…do you know how to use these?"

He snorted. "Yes, Bella. Emmett used to drag me to the gun range quite often…I am actually quite a good shot," he replied, cockily. I laughed.

"I'm sure you are, Dr. Cullen," I replied. He flashed his crocked smile at me and my heart began to beat faster. He took another step closer to me and looked up at him, lost in his green eyes. I could stare into those all day. His hand reached to my cheek and he touched it, gently.

"You are so beautiful," he said quietly. He moved his head down and I closed my eyes. Just then, Nessie started screaming upstairs. My eyes snapped open and we both raced upstairs. She was sitting up in her bed, still screaming.

I pulled her into my lap and hugged her tightly.

"Mama! Mama!," she cried out. I started rocking her.

"Ssshh, Nessie. Mommy is right here. Ssshhh, baby," I cooed.

"Daddy?" she said through sobs.

"I'm right here, too," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. She reached her hand out to grab his while the other was still clutching my shirt tightly.

"It's alright, honey. We're here," I said, still rocking her. Her eyes closed and her breathing became even, but her grip on us both did not loosen up. I laid her in her bed and laid next toher and Edward did the same on the other side.

He reached his free hand across the bed and pushed a piece of hair behind me ear.

"Good night, Bella," he breathed.

"Good night, Edward," I replied. Edward and I were both barely sleeping on the edges of the bed, but I have never been more comfortable or happy having both the loves of my life with me at that moment.

The morning sun was peaking through the blinds in Nessie's room. I opened my eyes and saw that Edward was still snuggled up on the edge of the bed on the other side of Nessie. He was awake, as well, and looked like he was memorizing her face.

"Good morning," I whispered. He looked up at me and smiled warmly.

"Good morning, Bella," he replied softly.

I slowly eased myself out of bed, careful as to not wake Nessie and tip toed to the door. Edward was right behind me. We made our way to the kitchen and I went to work getting coffee started.

"She's…she's amazing," Edward said, breaking the silence. I smiled at him and nodded my head.

"She is," I agreed. He sighed and looked out the window.

"Bella…I am…I just wish…" he started, having trouble finding the right words. I put a hand on his arm to soothe him.

"Edward, I messed up. Big time. I should have let you know-" I explained. He snapped his head in my direction and stopped me mid-sentence.

"No, Bella. Stop. Stop apologizing. You were young…and so scared…It's in the past. I was just hoping...that maybe we could start anew. I know we can't exactly pick up where we left off…I just…I mean, the minute I saw you in the hospital, I felt whole again…I've missed you so much," he said, as he started to pace the floor in the kitchen. I listened to him, slack jawed. I couldn't believe…He wanted to give us a chance. My eyes filled with tears as I watched him and listened. He stopped talking and looked at me, concern in his eyes.

"But, if you don't want to, I understand…I-" he began again, but before he could finish, I flung myself in his arms and nuzzled my face in his shoulder.

"Edward," I sobbed. I couldn't say anymore. His strong arms enveloped me in an embrace and he pulled me tightly into his chest. His hand stroked my hair gently.

"God, Bella, I love you so much. That summer was the best of my life…I was so excited to see you that Thanksgiving…I…I should have gone after you. I should have tried harder. Then I could have been there for you and Nessie," he said after a while. I broke the embrace and looked him in the eyes.

"Stop Edward. You said there would be no dwelling in the past and that goes for you, too. It's done. We are here now, and together," I scolded him sternly. He chuckled and kissed my forehead, his hand moved to my cheeks to brush away the tears.

"You are right," he replied. Just then, we heard something small padding down the stairs. Nessie wandered in to the kitchen, clutching her blankie with one hand and rubbing her eye with the other. I reached down and scooped her up in my arms and kissed her cheek.

"Morning, sweet girl," I cooed, hugging her tight and cherishing her scent.

"Morning, Mama," she said. She looked over my shoulder and saw Edward standing there, as a big smile spread across her face. "Morning, Daddy," she squealed and reached her arms out to him. He did not hesitate to grab her from me.

"Good morning, Angel," he replied and he hugged her tightly. The phone rang and I went to answer it.

"Hello," I said.

"Bella," the voice chimed on the other end.

"Hey Alice!"

"Hey, Mom wants you guys to come over for breakfast."

"Okay, great!" I hung up the phone and looked at Edward and Nessie. He was holding her up in the air and flying her around like an airplane. She was squealing and giggling with delight.

"Okay, you two. Time to get dressed," I said.

"Why, Mama," Nessie whined.

"Grandma and Grandpa want us to come over for breakfast, " I explained. Edward handed her over to me.

"Ooooh, okay," she replied, gleefully. I carried her upstairs and started searching in her drawers for clothes. I picked out her pink shirt with embroidered daises and a pair of jeans. I pulled her hair up into two pigtails and completed them with bright, pink ribbons. After settling her in front of the TV, I went to get myself ready. I descended the stairs and saw she was joined on the couch by Edward.

"Okay, let's go," he said to Nessie. She jumped off the couch and ran to the door to wait for us.

"She's a little excited," I laughed as I watched her bouncing by the door. Edward laughed and pulled her up into his arms, kissing her cheek.

When we arrived at the Cullen's, everyone was waiting outside for us, ready to pounce on Nessie, who was just as eager to pounce on them. Esme was the first to reach the car and went to pull Nessie out. They disappeared into the house.

I looked up and saw my Mom and a pregnant Rose were on the porch as well. My mother reached me and pulled me into a teary embrace.

"Oh, honey! I am so sorry! I am so glad you are alright and Nessie is alright," she said, pulling back to look at my wounds. "Oh honey, how are you feeling?"

"Better, Mom. Much better," I said. She released me and I walked towards Rose.

"Rosalie," I greeted her. She smiled at me, with tears in her eyes and pulled me in for a hug. We giggled as we tried to hug around her baby bump.

"It's so good to see you, Bella," she said.

"You too, Rose! You look great! Congratulations," I replied.

"I look like a house, but thank you anyway," she snorted.

"No, you don't. You look beautiful as always," I replied.

"Did Emmett talk to you about how I can help," she asked, looking more serious.

"Yes, he did. And thank you so much," I said.

"I know it's only been a day, but how is she," she asked.

"She's been relatively good. But she has mentioned that…he…told her that he was going to get me…She hasn't said anything more than that he was 'grumpy' as far as her time with him. And last night, just after she fell asleep, she woke up screaming…But Edward and I both got in bed with her and she slept pretty peacefully after that…I just worry though. She was right there when he attacked me…And God knows what he said to her…and leaving her all alone at that bus stop…" I explained, rubbing my forehead angrily. Edward put his arm around me for comfort and patted his hand, gratefully.

"It's not uncommon to have night terrors, especially after an experience like she had. But kids are resilient, Bella. She has a loving family…She has you and she has us, too, Bella. And so do you," Rose replied. Tears formed in my eyes once more.

"Thank you so much," I choked out.

"Bella, no need thanking me. You are family. Now, would it be alright if I went and talked to Nessie," she asked.

"Of course," I replied. She smiled and went into the house. Edward and I followed her. My breath caught as we entered and I looked around.

"Are you alright," Edward asked, rubbing my back.

"Yes…it's just…it hasn't changed," I replied, softly, still taking in my surroundings.

"Come on, guys! Let's eat," Emmett's voice boomed from the dining room.

"And neither has Emmett," I chuckled.


End file.
